Suffice to say, the past two days were worth the lack of revision, worth the travelling, worth all the responsibilities I’ve put off.
I never like to write good things down here, perhaps because it always seems to jinx them somehow. But I want to write it. (suffice to say) I love him, and it’s fantastic.
Fin. <3
My first exam is finished! I had a two hour exam in ‘Introduction to Greek and Roman History’ today, after spending hours each day revising it for the past week or so. It didn’t go too badly in my opinion- the questions are fairly simple, standard essay questions and they were on a nice wide range of topics. I can’t remember what exact questions I answered, as I seem to have some kind of post exam memory loss, whereby I can’t remember what I wrote or answered properly. One was about the role of the metropolis, one about the effects of Julius Caesar’s assassination, and the last was about whether I’d rather be a citizen of Rome or Athens (Athens, duh!). I think that I did best on the Julius Caesar question, as that was the most recent topic I had revised, so was freshest in my mind. The only bad things about the exam was the freezing cold sports hall it was held in and the fact I now have so many non-revision things to catch up with. Roll on the 13th, when exams are over!
I’ve got a good few days lined up- tonight, I’m going out for a friend’s birthday, and tomorrow, Giles and I are going to London for two days! I can’t wait for tomorrow, and it’s turned into some kind of holiday in my mind. We’ve made too many plans as usual, but we had such a good time when he visited me in the holidays that I’m sure it will be great. I’m not so enthusiastic about the trains though- I like Virgin, but he’s chosen some strange service running from Leamington Spa to Marylebone. It’s longer too. But, I’ll cope, and I guess it’s a good excuse to do some revision.
Anyway, I need to go to Tesco and get some change so that I can do some washing. I’ll update after the London trip!
I’ll attack the loose ends in this entry- suffice to say, I didn’t apologise. I received twenty three emailed invoices in my inbox, demanding £25. One would have been reasonable, and I may have considered it if not for this comment; “Please pay the appropriate amount for my time, and perhaps we can move on from this nonsense”. I refuse to pay someone for friendship. It doesn’t work that way. And spamming up my inbox isn’t exactly the most mature thing to do.
Anyway, I didn’t reply to it, being at first angry, and then distracted by real life things- friends, revision, relationships, etcetera. This afternoon, I checked my deviantart account for messages and saw the following note;
” I’ll ask for my money one last time.
Don’t forget that I know where you live and all of your phone numbers. Please do not anger me. Regardless of whether or not we patch up this silliness later on, let us move past this first, please. Thank you. If you would like, I’ll send the invoice again.
Skyler”
It frustrates me that he can’t address this like a reasonable person, or perhaps this his idea of reasonable. One thing I don’t appreciate is barely veiled threats. He wants to run a business when he is older- you can’t base a legitimate business on threats which verge on blackmail. Well- not one anybody in their right mind is going to use. When someone turns to things like this, they can’t be trusted, in my opinion. I’m going to change the passwords to a lot of my online accounts- this blog, facebook, deviantart and so on- because who knows what he’ll do? I wouldn’t put blatent sabotage past him. More so, what’s he going to do with “all [my] phone numbers” and my address? Call my parents and tell them that I’m not paying him for his frankly, now unwelcome, work on a website? Guess who’ll they’ll believe… oh wait. Me. The fact that I’ve told them about the argument and told my dad not to use Skyler’s webdesign company because he’s an idiot won’t bias them towards my opinion, nor will the nasty email he sent me, and the messages from then on.
I replied with a message saying that I can’t really afford to spend excess money (true) at the moment and will reconsider when I get some money through, mainly to placate him. However, the more I think about it, the more tempting it is to say to him- do your worst. He can rack up his phone bill calling me, and waste his money on postage stamps all I care. I’m not sure I even want to be friends with someone who would stoop to threats, someone who evidently doesn’t know me well enough to know that I’m a pushover, bluntly. If he’d said “sorry, we both said some stupid things, why don’t we start speaking again, and did you want me to finish your site”, he probably would have had his precious few pounds by now and I wouldn’t be half-so-bloody-angry about the whole situation. All he’s done is made me resent him further, and support the things which I said in an angry and tired mood about capitalism. He refused to ‘agree to disagree’ and instead turned to insults and threats. So. For now, fuck him. I’ve got better things to worry about.
Oh. I’m being cryptic again.
To cut a long story short, I argued with a friend, and now he has contacted me to, basically ask for money for a site he made for me as a friend. The last contact we had, was about two months ago, where just after the argument, he sent me a nasty email.
And now, I can either lay things on the line or keep my pride. I can say that I miss him, that I’m sorry- that I would have apologised so many times had I thought he would have listened. Or I can keep being cold, keep trying to push him into apologising to me, keep acting as though it bothers me as little as it evidently bothers him. Part of me thinks that if I just put aside my pride, we can just revert back to how we were. But then, I remember what he said in the email, the finality of it, and the fact that he may not accept my apology. I can put these things aside, put his many bad points aside (arrogance, self-centred nature, obsession with material wealth…) for the myriad good points. To type them here would be to trivialise them. But I can’t put aside the fact that I’m almost convinced that he would laugh me off, and cut his losses, so to say. My friends, better ones, advised me to do the same.
I don’t know what to do. Humidity complicates and confuses, and I doubt that I’ll be able to sleep much tonight.
