Let’s Go

Let’s run away away away away away.

(Suddenly, I find that I don’t want to sleep when I can’t be sleeping next to you.)

I just went to post an entry which has taken me five days to write, and wordpress decided to make it disappear. I’d be more frustrated if this hadn’t happened a fair few times before, or if I thought the entry had any particular wealth to it- trust me, you’re not missing out on much. I’m also quite distracted at the moment, with packing to go home tomorrow. Or perhaps that should read “I’m also quite distracted from packing”, as I’ve got very little done apart from folding up a few empty tissue boxes and hanging up two dresses. So, therefore, I come running to my neglected blog. I checked the amount of viewers for the first time in weeks, and realised that there is a shocking correlation to not updating and having very few readers. Although I’m not bothered by how many people read this, it’s nice to feel I’m not writing at myself from some lowly corner of the internet. It’s nice to have an audience, even though since I have become the secretary (and vice president!) of my university’s photographic society, I have an excuse to babble at 200 or so members once a week via an email newsletter, and the exec twice a week, via not only the newsletter but by weekly minutes as well. I’m disappointed to some degree that this is what my writing ’skills’ (I’m doubtful I have them any more) have wound up being used for, alongside the occasional essay for my course. I’m not going to babble on about how I miss writing, because I’ve done that far too much.

This past week has been one to be remembered for not entirely good reasons, as I’m sure can be inferred by Saturday night’s post. Instinct is rarely wrong, however much you may want it to be, and however much I was expecting something that wouldn’t make me happy, it still upset me. I’m not going to go into the details, as I’ve only told a select few friends. Another reason for not wanting to broadcast it all over the internet is the fact that it’s now sorted out. I spent a good day today with Giles, talking and being close and laughing about silly things. I’m going to visit him in Nottingham later in the holidays, which I’m looking forward to, and even later, he’s coming to London. Things will be good.

I managed to hand in two of three essays, and I’ve resolved to work on Latin in the holidays. I don’t intend to fail this year. I really hope I won’t, although I fear that I’ve made the mistakes and now I’ll have to pay for them. This is another thing I don’t want to talk about. I’m enjoying university in general now, which is something. I’m looking forward to next year, as well- I’ll have to choose my modules for next year in a few weeks time, and there are some really interesting ones on offer.  I’m thinking of taking ‘Greek and Roman coinage’,  ’sexuality and gender in the ancient world’, and possibly ‘art and death in Neronian culture’.

I’ll leave things here, and return with a blog later in the week when I am at home.

Four

Whatever he will tell you will hurt you.

I’m alive, but distracted by real life. I’m not on hiatus, or shutting this site down.

Let me adjust my priorities. I’ve got a bad feeling about tonight (or rather this morning) somehow. Four am is the time for revelations, for hurting, for reconciliation, for ideas and for knowing your place bluntly and pragmatically. So roll on four am, and whatever has happened that needs to be told to my face.