Please take a long hard look through your textbook…

’cause I’m history.

Today is officially the start of my last year as a BA student. I moved into my new house about two weeks ago, and tomorrow I have my first lecture for this year- a general meeting with all second and third year students. My first actual lectures are on Friday- two hours of Greek Tragedy, then an hour of Greek. The other module I’ve chosen for this year is The Art and Architecture of Asia Minor, and then of course I have my dissertation.

Dissertation

So, my dissertation. I’m currently researching it, as a week from now I have to hand in a 250 word plan and register my topic. I’ve decided to do it on something around neo-classicsm, and the influence of the Grand Tour. Frustratingly, Channel Four have chosen this moment to show ‘Kevin McCloud’s Grand Tour’, yesterday’s episode of which was (as phrased by my mother) “exactly what you’re doing for your dissertation”. I don’t want people to think I’ve got my idea from a television programme, and I don’t want other people to choose the same topic as me, and have the whole year become a fight for the same books (especially if they’re better than me, and my dissertation looks like a piece of GCSE coursework in comparison.

House

The last entry I wrote was about my housemates. G has moved into university accommodation, and for the last few nights, has been out socialising with his new flatmates. I wouldn’t say that I’m jealous, but quite a lot of me wishes that I’d got into university accommodation  (I applied, secretly, even though I’d agreed to live with my now housemates). Tonight, my housemates, have “secretly”, by which I mean that they’ve tried to make it so that I don’t know, agreed to go out. It’s with friends of theirs which I don’t know particularly, but frankly, I feel left out. It’s the way that they’ve tried to make it so I don’t know that gets to me, basically saying they really really don’t want me to be there.

House mates/hates

I generally get on well with my housemates. Our house, compared to some I’ve seen or heard about, is a bastion of friendliness and cleanliness. However, plenty of things still aggravate me. Most of these have been issues which I’ve been tempted to blog about for ages, but haven’t got around to either because I wanted to write an angry “grrr, I hate this shit hole” type of blog, or because I’m always paranoid that people will take what I’ve written in the wrong way. I don’t make many attempts to hide my identity, and most of the people who read this blog are friends or acquaintances in real life. It’s too late to change names, as I’d have to go through a good two and a half years of entries to erase everything and my blog will still pop up when you google my name.

I could make a list of things which annoy me, such as my cutlery constantly being taken, food spills left on the counter, hair on the shower walls etc etc etc, but it would be long and boring, and pretty vindictive. The fact that one of my housemates (Housemate 1) seems not to be able to clear up her mess annoys me. She thinks she does, but leaving spills of tomato sauce to crust onto the work surface or bits of stir fry strewn across the cooker bothers me a lot more than a couple of unwashed plates.

She and her boyfriend have also decided that he now lives in our house. I don’t mind the fact that they want to spend time together, and when he only stayed round a couple of nights a week it was bearable. Now however, he actually lives here. Rent and bill free, might I add. To cap it off, he’s unemployed, so is spending the whole day hanging around, using our water, electricity and gas. I don’t know if he pays something towards her share of the bills, but I don’t really think that’s fair. He has a house in Leamington, but lives here. It makes no sense! According to Housemate 1, next year he’ll be going to Birmingham University. To this, I replied something along the lines of “Oh, that’s cool. It’ll be nice that you won’t be living too far apart”.

Contrary to my expectations- that he would be living on campus or nearby, like a normal student- she replied that he would be living with her most of the time. Everyone I’ve talked to thinks this isn’t on. I don’t dislike him, but it annoys me to see his feet all over the sofa like it’s his house. Next year, we’ll also be living in a much smaller house- for three people. If she’d asked if he could live with us next year, we could have looked for a four bedroom house and it wouldn’t have been a problem. This morning, when I went into the bathroom, it was ridiculous. He’d just been in there, and there was water all over the floor, shaving foam smeared on the mirror and the taps, and hair all over the bath. I wouldn’t treat my own bathroom like that, let alone one in a house where I was a guest. The other day, I was taking a shower, and when I came out of the bathroom, he was standing right outside the door. To me, that was a little creepy. I was only wearing a towel, and although I don’t mind my housemates seeing me like that, I don’t want some random guy to. What was he achieving by waiting outside in the first place? If you need to use the bathroom and it’s occupied, most people would just come back in a couple of minutes.

Housemate 1 and him also had what sounded like a massive argument the other day. He had been out, and then he must have arrived back because I suddenly heard doors slamming, so viciously that I swear the house shook. I then heard shouting, more slamming doors and so on. Later, I went downstairs to get a cup of tea, and Boyfriend 1 is in the living room. As I walk back into the hall, I can hear Housemate 1 crying from inside her room. I don’t want them to break up in that I don’t want Housemate 1 to be unhappy, but it would make the house situation for next year much more convenient.

Regarding next year, I’m going to see how it goes. However, I’m going to put my foot down when it comes to bills. Everyone I’ve talked to about it seems to think that it’s unfair for him to live rent and bill free. My gran especially thinks so. I’m going to say that if he agrees to pay his quarter of bills then I don’t mind him living there. I’m also going to have a word about him getting his act together regarding cleaning the house, perhaps later this week if I have the time. I shouldn’t have to clean up his mess in the bathroom, and since he’s the only one in the house who isn’t studying or with a job, and who isn’t paying any bills, it only seems fair that he should be the one responsible for cleaning!

I will update later on the situation, and if I ever become brave and not passive aggressive (which I’m very good at) enough to say anything, rather than whine on the internet.

Brussel sprouts and the BNP

Hilarious. On the first page of results for images of “Hornchurch library” is a photo from my blog;

A stunning photo of a brussel spout inside an art book. I think this says a lot about Havering Library services.

In more important news, I’ve been watching the EU election results on TV with Giles and his housemates. It’s really depressing how many people have voted for the BNP and UKIP (BNP especially). I guess there’s enough about that on the internet already though. Suffice to say, I’m glad that I voted, and annoyed with people who didn’t because “they couldn’t be bothered” or “it wouldn’t make a difference”, like my housemates.

Three down, one to go// Coventry Noodle Bar

As the title states, I’ve had three exams for this year so far; Hellenistic World, Greek and Roman Coinage, and Domestic Space in the Roman World. Domestic Space was today, and Coinage was yesterday. Hellenistic World went well, and I feel confident about it, but I had done three or four times the revision that I did for others, simply because of time constraints. Coinage- I would say that I don’t want to talk about it, but that’s a lie! Coinage has become my Latin (see past entries). I started to revise three days before the exam, and although I read two entire books, I still think I didn’t do well. The questions were awkward, and I couldn’t write enough to fill the two hour exam slot, so I left twenty minutes early. I’m usually running out of time, desperatley trying to fling in a last few facts. Luckily, Domestic Space went much better. It’s my favourite module, so I had a nice build up of knowledge, and I’d revised quite well. Despite having a few mental blocks, I wrote a lot in the exam (filling a whole exam booklet and a half!). The questions were also not too bad, letting me show off a little. While I was talking to people from the module afterwards, it seems I answered different questions to most of them which is generally a good thing, as it means less comparisons can be made between my work and other people’s.

My last exam is on Saturday, and that’s Sex and Gender. After that, I’m going into work for the afternoon, and then I’ve planned to go round Giles’ and catch up on all the drinking and having fun I’ve missed out on over the exam period.

Monday I took a break from revision to meet up with Giles. As I usually go to Leamington when we go out, we decided that he would come to Coventry and we would check out the noodle bar, which I’ve wanted to go to for a while. Knowing my love of tofu and Chinese food, a few friends have recommended it to me. At first look, it looked quite seedy and run down, but we persevered. When we went upstairs to the seating area, however, it was really nice. Simply decorated and light, with small tables for two or four. The menu was printed on one side in Chinese, the other in English- a sign that the food will probably be good in my experience! After some deliberation, I ordered a lemonade, Chinese tea, and Szechuan tofu and vegetables with fried vermicelli noodles. Most of the menu was split into a system where you would choose your main/protein- tofu, chicken etc, then choose a way of cooking or sauce (Szechuan for me, as I like spicy things), then choose your accompaniment- soup noodles, rice etc. Giles, not as much a fan of Chinese food as he is of making me happy, got an egg fried rice.

The food arrived quickly, my noodles and tofu in an enormous bowl. Literally, enormous. I wish I’d taken a photo of it, but I started eating it as soon as possible. The food was perfectly cooked, with the tofu being light and airy. It was incredibly hot when it came out, and had obviously been cooked and brought out very quickly. The sauce was good as well, with a nice balance of spices. I could have done with some more vegetables, but there was enough food to fill me up for the rest of the day! I definitley want to go there again. The bill came to about £12 for our meals and drinks, which was very reasonable. I’m hopefully going back on the 19th!

When we had finished our quite late lunch, we had a browse round the shops. I bought some flip flops from H&M, and Giles bought us both an ice cream from Thorntons, which was really good, even if I was denied toffee honeycomb, or whatever my first choice. It was really nice to sit in the sun and talk and mess around, especially since we haven’t been spending much time together lately, due to my exams. We then went back to mine and hung out, having a dinner of snacks! Giles went home at about ten, and since then I’ve been buried in revision. I can’t wait until Saturday when they’re all finished!

I’ve planned to go home for my birthday, since most people at university still have exams, and it won’t be much fun sitting in my room on my own. I’m excited to see my room as well, which has been redecorated in my absence. I chose the colour before I left as well as a blind, and according to my mum it looks good. Unfortunatley, I’m going to have to sort out seven years worth of accumulated junk when I get there. I’m sure the local charity shops will be getting a good haul.

Egg fried rice redux recipe

Ages ago, I posted an egg fried rice recipe onto my blog :http://andgreyskies.wordpress.com/2007/01/04/28/. Here is the new and improved version, as eaten by me for dinner! Nom nom nom.

Egg Fried Rice Redux

Ingredients
One serving of white rice (I don’t know how much rice, I just throw what looks right into the pan)
One large egg
Diced spring onions
Light soy sauce
Olive oil
Sweet chilli (dipping) sauce
Salt

1. Boil the rice until it’s nearly cooked, soft but still has some bite to it. Set it aside in a covered bowl and let it cool.
2. Beat the egg, adding a little soy sauce as you go. Heat a reasonable amount of oil in your wok or frying pan.
3. Add the rice and onions to the pan, making sure it is all getting heated through. Add soy sauce and salt to taste.
4. When the rice is warm, push it to one side of the pan and pour roughly half of the egg into the cleared space.
5. Let the egg begin to form a omelette on the bottom, but while the top still remains raw and liquid. Swirl it with chopsticks or a fork, and mix into the rice.
6. Gradually add the rest of the egg onto the mix, making sure it cooks thoroughly and mixes into the rice, sticking it together.
7. Add the chilli sauce to taste, mixing it well into the rice.
8. Serve and enjoy!

Maps won’t show us where we’re going…

Exams are coming up, and I’ve resolved to keep a record of my life. For a short while, I used dailyboooth, but as usual, I just got bored and gave up. After my last post, protected because it contained events which are not for the general public, things have gone along as normal. The Easter holidays have come and gone, my last essay has been handed in, and the highs and lows of everyday life carry on.

Since I last properly blogged, half the names in my blogroll have ceased to exist, or have moved sites. I guess the internet is like that- transient. Blogs are kind of ephemeral- in some senses they’re very real- you can look at them, interact with them- but then they’re gone, and it’s like they never existed. I think the appeal of writing a blog is the same as writing a diary or taking photos for me, two things I’ve always been a little obsessed with. It’s the recording of life, the making it solid and making memories real. I’ll be the first to admit that I look over my old blogs, and when I was sorting out my room so it could be redecorated, I read every diary or record that I found. I used to have a habit (I’m not sure whether it was a bad one) of writing dated corrections and comments in my diaries. For example, if I’d written that I’d had an argument and would never forgive someone, three months later, there might be a correction, saying that I had sorted something out. It’s interesting to look over, although I’m not sure what it says about me.

It feels weird that I’m going to be twenty in less than two months. I can remember being young, thinking that eleven or twelve was old, and that eighteen was inestimatley old. I guess that the real shock hits when I’m twenty one, and will have finished university entirely, hopefully be going on to study a master’s degree, and then onto a phd. Maybe in six or seven years time, I’ll be looking over this, and correcting it, where I’ve taken a totally different life path?

Protected: What may well have been the shittiest weekend ever…

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Internet

I was talking to my friend Matt the other day, and we started to talk about how we’re now bored online. We first met on the internet (through deviantART, to be precise), and being the nerdy kids we were, spent lots of our time online. However, now we just can’t remember what we used to spend all that time doing. I guess as I’ve got older I’ve started to spend more time out ‘in the real world’- studying, going out with friends, spending time with my partner, and so on. I just have nothing to do online after I’ve checked my emails, facebook, webcomics. Of course, these three things still mean I go online every day (sad, I know), but I don’t spend the hours and hours online that I used to.

I guess part of this is due to the way I’m not really part of any communities online any more. I don’t go on any forums, I’m hardly on dA… and probably due to this, I’ve lost touch with most of my online friends. I feel a bit sad when I think of how I’ve lost touch with so many awesome people, but unlike people irl (heh), it’s hard to get back into a close friendship with someone you’ve barely spoken to for one or two years. Things change, and people do. Maybe I’ve just grown up and don’t want to spend my whole life online?

Funnily enough, when you google my name or username it’s still me you find then. I’m worryingly easy to internet stalk.

Anectdotal Evidence

Winter makes me think more, so it seems. Or perhaps the fact that I have lost my iPod charger means that I have no choice but to get lost in my thoughts when I’m waiting for a bus, or sitting on that bus when it eventually arrives, and the habit remains even when I get home.

I was reading a comment on some news article, I think, about someone who had changed their appearance and then achieved success, when I started thinking about an event which happened four years or so ago, and which seems to have shaped, to some degree, who I now am. I opened TextEdit and started to write the following;

I remember the day I started identifying as a feminist. I think it was year eleven, and although I can’t remember the context (I think it was some work/ business workshop), we had a seminar with a woman. I think she was some kind of make up seller, or perhaps just a business woman; and the seminar was about how to present yourself. We all sat down in a classroom in the sixth form block, and she started to tell us how we needed to use what we had to take advantage of the situation. I imagine it was a Friday, I imagine I was tired and looking forward to going out that night with my friends, letting her wash over me.

Saying that we had to use what we had, as women, we had to use our looks. What had begun as a ‘wear smart clothes, looking presentable is important, you need to come over well’, had become the fact that women could only get ahead in business by looking good. Not only get ahead of men, but get ahead of women. I woke up from my Friday daze, thinking ‘this is not right’. She carried on, twittering away about how looking good in the workplace is important. At this stage, someone, it may have been me but it may not have been, asked about interviews.

“I wouldn’t hire anyone who didn’t wear make-up”, and she giggled. Anger rose in my throat. Was I not to be valued on my skills, my wit, my merit as a person, not as a decorative object? According to her, skills can only get you so far. A good CV will barely get you into the office, apparently. I don’t know if I argued back or not, but watched her show us how to apply blusher and lip-gloss, thinking to myself, ‘this is not how it should be’. I remember going home and raging about it to mother, who agreed.

Whether the world is a superficial place or not, I didn’t want to be part of that, and I still don’t. I don’t want to be judged by how pretty I am. Now, I enjoy looking nice, I wear make-up, I buy expensive clothes; but not to make myself attractive to men, nor to make myself attractive to get ahead in life. From that point on, I did a bit of research, started becoming more aware of what was going on in the world. And I thought about this seminar and what it said to me and the other girls in the classroom. Women are worth more than how they looked, and shouldn’t need to wear foundation or a short skirt to compete with men for a position in the workplace.

I guess the make-up lady didn’t achieve her aims that day, but she did inspire me to become part of something bigger and better.

Reflecting…

I always thought that when I was at university, my life would become more interesting. I suppose, to some extent, it is. It’s better than sitting around in front of my laptop all day. making myself melancholy. I’ve been thinking about how university has differed from my expectations. To some extent, I can’t really remember what I expected university to be like. Indeed, my overall experience of the first year has ranged from the fantastic to wanting to leave and never come back. My first two weeks differed so much from the rest of the year that it seems odd to think back to them- I remember describing them ‘like a madness’. At the start of the year, I managed to royally fuck up a few things, making some bad decisions when it came to friendships and relationships. I think I had to pull myself together after the Christmas Holidays, as from that point on, things became decidedly better- friendship wise, relationship wise, and so on.

I think I’ve grown up a lot over the space of this year. In fact, I’m sure of it. As I’ve probably written before, I would have treated a lot of situations differently in the past, if I was who I am now. This includes relationships. I obviously try to avoid comparisons between people, but I’m the best relationship I’ve ever had at the moment. I’m always slightly embarrassed about declaring my affections for all the world to read, but I’m happy with Giles, and very much in love. The decision to let him stay at mine when Michael was supposed to be there instead, the decision not to do anything with Michael (although prior to getting with Giles, I would have said it was inevitable- does that make me sound awful?), were good ones. Great ones.

I’ve also grown up with respects to work, and work ethic. At school, I never really tried. I’ve always been used to the fact that I’m intelligent, and school work comes easy to me. Latin pushed this view right off my horizon. Although, in part, I’m certain that it was because of the teaching and my flagrant dislike for the teacher, that I started the course badly and never bothered to catch up; I’ve never been so glad that I passed a subject. I worked hard revising for my exams, instead of just cruising through them like I always have. I’ve resolved for next year that I won’t leave my essays til the last moment, and hopefully I’ll keep that up!

I’m not sure if I’ll promise total honesty next year, like I did last September;

“So here I will end, and here things will begin. I am determined to blog honestly about university; the people, the places, the studies and the sex (or perhaps not!). Look out for me.”

for afterall, I try not to make promises I know I won’t be able to keep.